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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037912">Whiskey in a Jar</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BittersweetAlias/pseuds/BittersweetAlias'>BittersweetAlias</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimpatsuNoHoseki/pseuds/KimpatsuNoHoseki'>KimpatsuNoHoseki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Harem of a Necromancer [17]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Introspection, M/M, No Drama, No Sex, Therapy, some language</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:21:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BittersweetAlias/pseuds/BittersweetAlias, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimpatsuNoHoseki/pseuds/KimpatsuNoHoseki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of the Harlequin aftermath it was Rafael who suggested that the four of them, as well as Teddy and Peter, receive personal therapy over the manipulations of the Harlequin.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Micah Callahan/Edward (Anita Blake)/Jean-Claude (Anita Blake)/Harry Potter, Rafael (Anita Blake) &amp; Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Harem of a Necromancer [17]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>408</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Each one of them sported a different expression when Rafael swept through on the eve of New Years, and told them in no uncertain terms that they were to report once a week for the next couple of weeks for what he called therapy and counseling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re kidding?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not believe I am needed to be included in this debacle.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds interesting,” and of all them, the fact that Edward found it interesting was a shocker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swung around and leveled Edward with a stare. “Really, Lover? No shooting at anyone?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah also had a similar expression, and Jean-Claude observed their assassin fiancee with interest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He makes a point,” said Edward with a cock of his head. “Most organized militaries do have a form of counseling and therapy after war. It’s not all that different from what you’ve done with the kittens, Little Raven. So why are you surprised?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were all the main targets, and I think it would be good for Teddy and Peter to also be involved. They still don’t understand what happened,” said Rafael confidently. “A lot of things came out during everything. Feelings and thoughts that had been boiling for a long time and they need to be properly addressed. Especially now that you have become engaged.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael was probably the only one in the entire world that could talk any of them into doing something that sounded so pointless. Anyone else, and Harry was sure that Edward’s gun would have been out and pointed at an awaiting target. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, Rafael was more than a community leader. He was a trusted friend. Even Edward considered him a friend. Something that was unusual for the sociopath. “Even if you get little to nothing out of it, I think it’s still a good idea for all of you to be involved. I’ve even spoken to Draco, and he’s making Asher see someone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin knows he needs it,” Harry admitted. “But, why do we? We’re all good now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael leveled Harry with a kind but strong stare. “You died, Harry,” he said with a seriousness that caused everyone but Harry to stiffen. Edward closed off, Micah lowered his eyes, and Jean-Claude had become as still as death. “You willingly tried to kill yourself, sever your bonds…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was the Harlequin!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, mostly, but it was your choice in the end, Harry. It was your choice to do what you did.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I’d never do it again,” said Harry. “I meant it. I made a mistake. I screwed up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you did. You’ve made amends with everyone - everyone but yourself,” Rafael added, and Harry blinked at him. “I’m not asking any of you to reveal any of your secrets or what have you. But perhaps talking to someone who isn’t emotionally or mentally involved may do all of you some good. If anything it may prepare us for the next time these enemies decide to play with us again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t help that Harry was still raw and sore over Marcus having walked out on them. He did his best to keep that tucked away because whenever Micah heard Marcus’ name, his teeth would start grinding and his eyes would get brighter. A boiling sensation would take over him. Jean-Claude would cluck his tongue, and Edward would go out to the woods and shoot something. Marcus’ name had become a taboo thing to say in the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who did you have in mind?” asked Edward, sounding too pleasant. It had Harry weary, and wondering what was going on in his head. He was surprised that Edward wasn’t being more visceral about it, but then Harry decided that perhaps Edward thought of this as a game. Sometimes even Harry didn’t know what Edward was thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lillian.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Lillian was a well respected Chief of Staff at St. Hedwig’s Hospital for Preternatural and Magical Maladies. It was the first real hospital of its kind. She was also one of Rafael’s most trusted wererats. Everyone liked her even if they didn’t want to like her. They had no choice because half the time the community’s life was in her hands. She was good at what she did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s mostly been out of the fight, what with the hospital up and running, but she’s seen all your wounds and doctored them all, and she also agrees with me that maybe a bit of communication is necessary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah made a noise. “Rafael, we’ve been through worse you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you have, Micah. But this isn’t just about you four. It’s about Peter and Teddy too. This will give you a chance to clear the air with yourselves, and you can’t tell me you haven’t had a lot of pent up issues over the last year or so Micah.” It wasn’t often that Micah would cringe in front of another were leader even if Rafael was their good friend and confidant, probably their best. But he did, and a look of shame crossed his face. “You four are the leaders. You are in the dead center of everything going on right now. You need to be at your best. Not only physically healthy, but mentally and emotionally so that we don’t have a recurrence. Our enemies are getting more and more crafty. They know they can’t take you head on,” Rafael reasoned. “That was proved, Jean-Claude, when you stood toe to toe with Columbine who had her servant in reach, and you still thwarted her. It was proved when Harry reigned hell on the Council when they visited, and then again when Musette arrived. Everyone will know that physically you are untouchable. So now they are going for the one thing that can’t be shielded so easily.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you’re Edward,” said Micah, peaking over at Edward who was still looking pleasant, but his eyes were as empty and cold as usual. “What has you so willing to do this Edward?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s right,” said Edward. “You can’t damn a man for being right, Alpha. Besides, Peter does have a lot of baggage, and who knows? Maybe it’ll do him some good. We can’t force them to do something that we wouldn’t do ourselves. Teddy wouldn’t see it as force, and would be very happy to open up.” He said it with a shine of pride in his eyes. “I want him to stay that way. Peter is still closed up so tightly, and even more so after what happened. He said some things that I know he actually regrets, and I can’t advise him. I can’t tell him to move on anymore than I already have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teddy is more well together than all of us are,” Harry laughed. “He’s gone out of his way to apologize to Peter. I even saw him sneaking cookies into his room one night. He never came back out so I’m guessing he’s been playing snuggle bunny with Peter whether he likes it or not.” Harry had no doubt that Peter would end up liking the comfort. Everyone liked comfort in some way, shape, or form. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone but Edward, who smirked, laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh to be young and full of innocence,” Jean-Claude hummed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, and Harry,” Rafael glanced at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve already informed Mary and Craig that you’ll be doing this and to guarantee you don’t get appointments planned that interfere. Can’t guarantee anything with RPIT, but Animators, Inc will keep you from missing meetings.” Harry blushed because that is exactly what he planned on having happen.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah laughed. “We know you too well, Baby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d do the same if you could,” said Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t fight this Harry. You’re Pard has gone through therapy and it’s done them good. It will be good for you too.” Rafael reminded them all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still do not see the point in</span>
  <em>
    <span> me</span>
  </em>
  <span> attending these sessions,” said Jean-Claude. “I am not human after all. I am not sure that this applies to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should give it a try, Jean-Claude,” said Rafael. “You might be surprised.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hardly think a surprise is what would be waiting on me. I’m not sure our dear good doctor has enough hours in the world to listen to me ramble on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah leaned into Jean-Claude’s slim frame and kissed him on the cheek. “But you’re so good at rambling, and you do it so pretty.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one but a vampire would have time to listen to 600 years worth of issues, but Lillian can get the process started.” Rafael chuckled. “She’s of neutral character, and won’t be swayed by her emotions so easily as anyone else, including myself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’ll also call bullshit on all of us without any problems.” Harry shook his head with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s no use fighting it, Toy. You might as well go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh really? Are you going to go and it will be useful, mon Tueur d’Ombre?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see,” said Edward with that empty smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wasn’t sure if this was such a good idea. He had no doubt that he wouldn’t be saying much of anything to Dr. Lillian. Not that he didn’t trust her, but Harry didn’t know half of what he was feeling unless it was in the moment. He also didn’t want to drudge up things that were better left alone. It wasn’t like he lived in denial. He was just good at compartmentalizing. He didn’t see anything helpful in this scenario, but he would humor Rafael. He would do it because maybe the others needed it, and they needed his support. So he would be supportive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anything for them. But, in the end he had no doubt that Dr. Lillian might be wasting her time. He was sure the rest of them thought the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Teddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Aunt Lillian! I’m supposed to call you doctor right?” asked Teddy with a big smile as he swung his legs back and forth on the comfortable brown leather chair. Today, his hair had been changed to a shocking hot pink if only to annoy Peter who had called pink girlie. He had kept his eyes their natural brown. The hair was spiky at the top and short on the sides. His hair sparkled in the gentle lighting of Dr. Lillian’s office. It was quite a boring office, if Teddy were being honest. It was all browns and beiges, and the only thing of real color was him, and the flower pot behind her sitting on a sill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am seeing you as a doctor instead of your aunt today. That is true, but if you would feel more comfortable calling me Lillian, you may.” Lilliam smiled calmly at the boy. “Do you understand why you are here today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy chewed at his lip, one leg stilled from the swinging. “I think so. I mean, a lot of bad stuff came out, hm? What with Uncle Marcus leaving, and Parrain almost…” He didn’t finish. It was hard to finish when his throat got clogged up. His Parrain was so strong, and yet at the same time he was so fragile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost dying? You can nod if that is easier.” Lillian asked after giving Teddy space to speak if he could. She did make sure to nudge the kleenex closer to the boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dying,” he said softly. He wasn’t going to be afraid of words. “My Parrain… he’s really strong you know? But, he’s also breakable, and I think he’s been broken a lot, but not like the others have been. I don’t know what I mean.” He shrugged with a sniff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have your fathers talked to you about what happened? There was a lot going on. It must have been very scary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy paused before speaking. “Parrain has apologized. He does that a lot. He’s sort of fibbed to all the others if only to protect them. But, he’s always been honest with me. He’s always told me the truth. Dad and Papa have the hardest time talking about it. Père has talked more about it. I think because in a way he understands my Parrain where Papa and Dad might not. That’s a new one, Dad not understanding. He’s usually the first one to understand everything. But not this time.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good that he is honest with you. Are all of them honest with you?” Lillian made a note of the pad of paper in her lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy couldn’t help but smile. “Oh yes, always honest. Even if Parrain turns all red and stuff, they always tell me the truth. Parrain told me once that he was always lied to. As a little boy and even as a teenager Peter’s age.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about the amount of honesty they give you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad thinks it’s safer if I know the truth, and I’m glad they love me enough to tell it to me. Even when it’s hard, you know? I know I probably know too much. I like that they tell me things. I like seeing the world. I just didn’t like what happened to Parrain…” Teddy folded his hands into his lap, and looked away from the woman. “My throat gets funny when I think about it. Dad’s does too, but he won’t admit it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how do you feel when you think about it? What emotions come up?” Lillian asked kindly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did they have to talk about that?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Teddy wondered. “Uhm… well it’s not a good feeling,” he said hesitantly. “I still don’t know why all that happened. Do I have to talk about that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s important to acknowledge your feelings, even when they hurt.” Lillian drew a line on her paper. She looked at the boy before deciding to change tracks. “But we can save that for another day, Teddy. Tell me about the fight you had with Peter. What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy grimaced. “It’s hard to explain…” He scratched the side of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just felt really weird, you know? I mean, Big Brother Peter is older than me, and Dad does a lot of things with him that he won’t do with me. I want to do them too, you know? I know now why, but it started when Peter told me that I should stop pretending.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what kind of things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, they always go hunting. I wasn’t allowed to go. They’re always going to the ranges together and stuff. I wasn’t allowed to go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you want to go shooting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy thought about this. “No, not really. But, Dad is good at shooting so I want to be good at it too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there another activity that you could do with them? Something you want to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We go camping sometimes,” said Teddy. “Those days are really fun, we don’t do it often because of school. But I was never really allowed to handle a gun or any of that. I know now why. It was Parrain. He was being protective. He told me that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about Harry stopping you from handling a gun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At first I didn’t understand at all. But I think Parrain is just afraid I’ll get hurt. But Dad would never let me get hurt.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you talked to any of them about what you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little bit. Parrain said that maybe things could change. You know, start small? He said he only held me back because he was scared. I also think he wants me to be a baby longer.” He huffed at this, but couldn’t help but feel a bit warmer. “Papa and P</span>
  <span>è</span>
  <span>re don’t have an opinion on it. Papa doesn’t really like guns and fighting even though he’s very good at it. P</span>
  <span>è</span>
  <span>re, I don’t know about him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how do you feel about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice that Parrain is willing to uhm… c-er compro-? What is that word?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Some words were still annoying and big</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Teddy thought. He had to get better at this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Compromise? Is that the word you’re looking for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Compromise.” He repeated it twice, and then a few times in his head. “I didn’t mean to get mad at Peter. I was just really jealous. I guess that’s wrong of me isn’t it? I mean, I have so many people. He has only Dad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing wrong with how you felt. How are you feeling now? Are you still jealous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy really thought about it. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not. Big Brother Peter needs Dad and I know that now. We don’t have to do the same things all the time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With how your family dynamics are, do you think that Peter truly only has Edward?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I think Peter thinks that. Parrain takes care of him all the time. Makes sure he’s fed, and even happy. When Dad doesn’t understand school functions and meetings it’s Parrain that does that. Papa helps too from time to time, and P</span>
  <span>è</span>
  <span>re always gives advice. But I think Peter is still figuring out that everyone loves him. I think he thinks no one loves him,” he rambled. “But Parrain loves everyone. I think he also might have a crush on my Parrain and Papa. It’s so obvious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lillian smiled at this. “Do you like having Peter in your family?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded. “I do because he needs us. It’s good to be needed. I want everyone to need me like I need them. If his mother won’t be good to him then we can be!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happens if you aren’t needed, Teddy?” Lillian asked slightly concerned. A nine year old shouldn’t be worried about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy frowned at this. “I’m sad. I love helping people. I love being with others. When I was with gran we had no one. I had no one. We were in a dark house. Alone. But with Parrain we have family. You need family.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you happy where you are now? Away from your grandmother?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded. “Yes. I’m not alone. I’m not sad. I’m not lonely, and no one forgets about me. Gran used to forget about me for days. She’d sit in her chair and just stare at the fire or the portrait of my mother and grandfather. I never told Parrain this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who took care of you during those times?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” said Teddy. “Parrain was far away, and I only got to see him every so often because gran didn’t want me leaving much.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How old were you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About four or five I think? Long time ago,” said Teddy. “Sometimes Auntie Fleur and her kids would come by, but that wasn’t much.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about your grandmother?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love her. She’s my gran and she’s sad. She’s let sadness hurt her for a long time.” That wasn’t quite what he meant. “I still talk to her every so often. But I like where I am. I don’t want to leave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do Harry and the others know you still talk to her? Isn’t there a sign in Harry’s house about not answering her calls?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy nodded. “As long as it’s watched over. It’s usually Papa or P</span>
  <span>è</span>
  <span>re who stand away from the fire so I can talk to her. Parrain just doesn’t want me to hear things like monster and animal. He doesn’t want her to go too far. He doesn’t want me hurt, but then he hurts himself, and that really hurts.” Teddy bowed his head at this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have much time left today, Teddy. Are you happy to come back for more meetings like this? I think there’s more we can talk about. Is there anything you want to make sure we talk about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind coming back. I think it could help everyone. Especially my parents. I think they need a lot of help. If I go, then they’ll go. I’m sure Dad will probably try and pry into what you talked about with me.” He grinned at this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor patient confidentiality.” Lillian winked at him. “Means Edward can ask all he wants but I won’t be telling anyone anything we talk about. If they want to speak to each other about their sessions that’s up to them. But, Teddy, no one will hear anything from me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teddy giggles. “I don’t have anything to hide from them. Maybe I forget some things at times, but I don’t hide things. I might let Parrain not know things that might make him feel sad, but I don’t do it to hide. No reason to! I’m not going to be in trouble or hurt for asking a question or needing something. I think that is why they are so open. So I never have to have secrets. Not like when I was with gran and I had to keep quiet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to pick that up the next time you come.” Lillian made a note on the pad. “But for today, I think we will leave it here. Thank you for coming in Teddy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Dr. Lillian! Can I have my auntie hug now?” he asked, hopping off the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Teddy.” Lillian wrapped him into her arms. “And if you stop by Cherry’s desk she has lollipops in the bottom left drawer. I’m sure she won’t mind you taking one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Teddy really had to be the sweetest child</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dr. Lillian thought as she perused her notes. It was alarming to have to hear about his brief past with his grandmother. She had been concerned when Harry had refused his maternal grandmother visitation. Something like that could hurt a child or even damage him or her, but Lillian could see now why Harry had been so strong about it. So adamant. But then that green eyes wouldn’t do anything simply to be mean or out of spite. He always seemed to have a reason. The kid was very well together, but that needing issue. The fact that he believed he had to be needed all the time. It could turn into an issue in the future. It was good to give children responsibilities, but maybe there was too much? Kid was a charmer. He definitely picked up Jean-Claude’s charm, Harry’s heart, Micah’s boldness, and Edward’s directness. He had a bit of everyone in him, but now that made her wonder about Teddy’s parents. Of course he’d only been two months old. But what she did know were they were war heroes. They had died helping to save a world, and maybe it was that view that Teddy had taken on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something like this was not normally in Dr. Lillian’s job description or even what she studied. Especially these days, but this was a special case and she ordered all recommended reading on therapy topics. All the boys needed neutrality, and if Rafael couldn’t provide it then she would have to. They also needed discretion and secrecy, and there wasn’t a thing anyone could wrangle out of her no matter what they tried, and in the past they had. She had Jean-Claude later that night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That should be enlightening.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Why did everyone think that colors like beige and browns were tasteful and alluring? It was a quarter to midnight and he arrived at the perfect time; for what he was not entirely sure. He knew what counseling was about, but what on earth would he get out of it? What good would it do him? Perhaps if someone had offered something of this nature a couple centuries ago, then he would have been more receptive, but then centuries ago there was no one he could trust in this world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could trust no one until mon Amour walked into his life, and then he almost walked out. He did not like thinking of this. He wished not to speak of it, and now here he was going to be dredging it up. He had to do this though. Perhaps mon Amour and the bebes would get something out of it if he were to go. A sort of silent support. Yes, that was why he was here, and he was old enough to believe this sort of thing. It was not denial. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good evening, Dr. Lillian, I do hope your day and evening have been as splendid as your beauty and nature!” He bowed respectfully toward her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good evening, Jean-Claude. Flattery won’t get you out of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude smiled at her crispness. “Non, why would I need to flatter such a strong woman? Hm? We could use more like you? Is this my seat?” he asked pointing to the leather back chair, and with her nod he gracefully sat. “You do know that the decor could use some finesse, I could get you in touch with this wonderful interior designer… surely a woman of your status should afford the best and brightest? It is closed off in here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not talking about my decor.” Lillian smirked. “Anywhere you’d like to start?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about a new rug? This one looks a bit worn,” he suggested, primly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jean-Claude. You can’t deflect. If you won’t choose a topic, I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are many topics, Dr. Lillian, and I am not sure which topic should be the beginning. I must admit I have never been to a counselor or what you would call a therapist. I am only here for the others as a show of support.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start from the most recent then and work backwards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It all depends on what you mean by recent.” She was good at keeping him on track, whether he wanted her to or not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start with your engagement. Congratulations. How do you feel about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude settled back with a perfect smile. “Splendid! It came at such a surprise, and of all things mon Tueur d’Ombre. I never would have guessed it. You know it had been on my mind, but I was not sure if it was the right time or not. He’s not one for being spontaneous.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is it surprising that Edward proposed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What a strange question,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought. “It is Edward. Edward is not spontaneous. He is what he is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think his proposal was spontaneous? A man like Edward usually thinks things through, do you truly think it was spontaneous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That gave Jean-Claude pause as he caressed at the cheap leather fabric. Honestly, she could do better than this. Perhaps he’d order her a new set as a thank you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not ordering me new decor.” Lillian smiled at his movement. “Answer the question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude arched a brow. “You are very good, and I am thinking. After so many hundreds of years, multitasking in thinking is a must to survive for so long. I suppose you might have a point. Edward is unique in that there are times when even someone as brilliant as you will not know what he is thinking. He is a mystery. I think only mon Amour can read him best. I was not entirely sure if I was someone that mon Tueur d’Ombre would want in his life, long term,” he couldn’t help but admit it. It has always been in the back of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess because I am what he hunts, so is mon Chaton. It is simply natural. I did not realize that he might actually hold love for more than what he could. I suppose time changed that. Maybe something more.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Micah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It came naturally. Not as quick as mon Amour. He is our rod and key in the end. He brought us together. But we all have a lot in common when you push back the skin and fur.  I can’t wait to see how you deal with mon Tueur d’Ombre. That should be entertaining.” He couldn’t help but laugh to himself at the very idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s funny? Do you think he won’t take this seriously?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, you have it wrong. I do believe mon Tueur d’Ombre will take this most serious,” said Jean-Claude. “Mon Tueur d’Ombre is a seeker of what he sees and hears more than what he feels, Dr. Lillian. If he sees one of us in distress, he will do all he can to fix it. He understands sight and sound better than he does with the inside. It is only recently that he understands what he feels inside. So I find it funny that you are probably going to ask him things that may actually have him pausing. It is always entertaining when he actually pauses. You never know what he’s going to say to you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about his ‘fix it’ response to things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is a double edged sword, but it is much needed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was really good at what she did, and Jean-Claude’s mouth was running before his brain could catch up. Maybe he did need to speak candid at some point. “I am most famed for being a sentimentalist, and in my world that is a sure fire death, Dr. Lillian. Or at least the world I came from. To know where you stand with someone is revolutionary, and with Edward, I like standing face to face with him. He and mon Chaton rush my blood the way mon Amour does. Just different. We each give each other what we lack in ourselves.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were in a multiple person relationship before, how is this different?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not counting the Tetrumvirate aspect of our bond. It is far different. I loved Julianna and Asher very much, never let it be said that I did not. They taught me </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> to love so that I could love harder,” said Jean-Claude plainly. “But, it was always a game. A fight with Asher for attention. It was always a moment of pause when speaking without saying the wrong thing. I do not have to do that. I can be myself. Julianna was not good at the vampiric part of our lives. Embracing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Harry, Edward, and Micah are good at the vampire sides? Explain that for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, we are getting deep are we not, ma cherie?” He smiled at this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose we do,” he hummed for a moment and brushed a few stray curls out of his eyes. “I learned long ago how to be human. To appear human, and I was good at it. So good that I forgot to be myself, and then both of them told me to stop. First it was mon Amour and then Edward, and of course mon Chaton. Mon Amour is especially sensitive to false bravado. He does not like fakes or personas that are not real. I still remember the night that mon Amour allowed me to roll him. He let me sink into him. It was then I knew that there was nothing I could ever want more. I could be myself. Ruthless or compassionate. It did not matter. I could be weak and strong and he would take it. Accept it. Mon Tueur d’Ombre and mon Chaton followed suit not long after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that the first time someone accepted you for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oui. You know how Nikolaos was, ma cherie. You think she was a tyrant and a sniffer of weakness? That is nothing compared to Belle Morte and the courts of France. If they so much as taste even a drop of weakness they shall seize it and use it for their own. If you are too strong they will try and wield it. Even Asher had moments where he wanted to wield the weakness or strength. Julianna, I believe, wanted me more than Asher. I do believe at one point this was so, and because of that the resentment grew when the churches came for them.” Jean-Claude had never been honest about that before. He’d never admitted to what he knew. Asher knew it, but they never spoke about it. It was one of those things. But Jean-Claude had liked Asher more than Julianna. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you reciprocate her feelings? Love her more than Asher?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude shook his head. “Non. I was swept away by Asher. He had a rare kindness that is unseen in the courts, and the difference that you have been asking is that I love all three men in my life the same. It may have started with mon Amour, but it grew so big. All of them. Equally. Equality. I’ve never had that. It is revolutionary. Once upon a time if you said something like this during the courts or to another vampire they would find a way to exploit it. You learn not to speak, but mon Amour has taught me to open my mouth. I do believe I have become a better monster for it.” He smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you truly feel you are a monster, Jean-Claude?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude smiled. “Everyone is a monster at some point, Dr. Lillian. We are all our own monsters in the end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I a monster? Is Harry? Is Teddy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude tilted his head. “Non, but they are not vampires, Dr. Lillian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So all vampires are monsters? What decides that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Birth. Almost all of us are empty when we wake up for the first time and hunger. We have nothing in our chalice to fill us up. We come from the dead. We are cold and nothing, and it is our experiences and things we go through that determine if we are filled or not. We are broken at birth and we have to either repair or we lash out. Some of us take human servants and animals to call, and we feel for the first time. Some do not, and they never get to feel. Some take servants, but they still never feel. We must be carefully monitored. If not, we get Belle Morte, Earthmover, and Mother of Darknesses around every corner.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who monitors you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry Potter-Black and Edward,” said Jean-Claude. “Of all of us Micah has had the cleanest upbringing. The more human of all of us. What Edward does not say about his past can be read from his cold eyes. From the intent in which he watches you, and of course we sleep with each others’ memories of old. We do not speak about it. But we see each other. We are on display. Nothing is hidden.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do their memories affect you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In different ways. I do not die come morning the closer I am to my loves, and so when I sleep I can sometimes feel their lives. Small fragments. I will not go into detail. It is theirs.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you all speak about the shared memories?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Non, but it affects me. Teaches me. It reminds me that sometimes being human is far worse than being a vampire. We vampires don’t break so easily, but humans do. Mon Amour’s past is evident of that. You know most about it, so I can use that as an example. It’s heartbreaking and enlightening to see how strong someone can be. Particularly a child, and that is what he was. A child. So it hurts. It cuts, but it teaches me. It reminds me not to take him for granted. It also tells me that he will never tell me what he needs. He will never tell us what he needs. He will hide it unless we uncover it for ourselves. Sneaky little thing he is,” Jean-Claude admitted, and that was what kind of hurt. Harry would not tell him or any of them if he truly needed something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately we are almost out of time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has it really been two hours?” Jean-Claude glanced up at the clock on the wall. A mundane thing. “You are good at asking questions, ma cherie.” He smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Shall I be seeing you next week?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude traced his knee with a fingertip. “I suppose I can see some benefit in this whole thing. It might help everyone, and why not? You are always pleasant to speak to. But I do wish we could do something about your furnishings, ma cherie. You deserve better! I’m not currying favor. Just being apt.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My furniture is fine, Jean-Claude.” Lillian smiled. “It keeps people from bothering me with mundane things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you have a point. A Chief of Staff’s work is never done.” He stood and bowed. “Merci. You have a lovely night. I shall return.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a good evening, Jean-Claude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean-Claude swept out, and he admitted that he was in a bit of a daze. He hadn’t talked that much about his past or things such as those in a long time. Interesting. Perhaps he would get a perspective that he hadn’t had before? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure if he was looking forward to this or not. A lot of things had happened in the last few weeks and months. Micah sometimes felt like he was waking up again after the whole Chimera debacle. Perhaps, he should have sought counseling for that? Maybe if he had then he wouldn’t have screwed up in Philly. Maybe if he’d gone to counseling, Baby’s heart wouldn’t be broken over Marcus. Micah knew that he hadn’t helped matters in driving the Ulfric away. He had a lot to own up to. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell anyone of this, and especially in counseling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a standard office, and Micah could smell the remnants of Jean-Claude from the night before. He had come in that night and wrapped himself around them all, and fell directly asleep. Whatever had been said must have tired him out in a rare way because he hadn’t spoken. Edward had spent the night running his fingers through the man’s beautiful curls, and Micah had watched while snuggled up to Harry who’d laid his head on Jean-Claude’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice being one with each other, and Micah counted himself lucky that he managed to fall in love with not just one, but three beautiful men. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Lillian was a stately woman with strict short gray hair, and matching gray eyes. Rafael had chosen well when it came to neutrality, in the know of secrets, but not so close that emotions would be affected. Micah was sure that none of them would have agreed to talk to anyone else otherwise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then, Rafael was pretty good at that sort of thing wasn’t he? He was always in Baby’s corner. Always. He had no doubt in his mind that Rafael had been thinking about Harry and Teddy when he came up with this idea. Rafael had always been on Harry’s side, and he always would be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice to know that no matter what happened that Rafael would always stand beside Harry. It was rare to have friends like that, and having them meant a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Micah. Thank you for coming in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Lillian,” said Micah and pointed at one of two free chairs, and when she nodded he took a seat. He felt a bit uncomfortable, and wound up sitting with his back straight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations on your engagement. How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a surprise,” Micah admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pleasant?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It took me a few days to believe that it was real,” he confessed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now? How do you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, they all want to know how you felt. Truth was, Micah didn’t readily know. “I’m not sure,” and then he shook his head. “I mean, I am happy. I guess it’s still sinking in that things are real. Not just the engagement. Everything. Even if I did screw things up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want to elaborate on that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah shrugged. “On what exactly?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I quote: even if I did screw things up. End quote.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I knew you were asking that. Just wanted clarification,” said Micah carefully. “Well, I did. I screwed things up. First was when I ran away and then in Philly. I made an ass of myself, and it only got worse when those clowns showed up. I fucked everything up. I was selfish,” he admitted. “I think.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot in there to cover. Shall we start with the running away? Why did you run?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah was quiet for several heart-beats, and then, “Fear. When Chimera found my Pard it was all I could do to get away from here. Not let it come here, you know? I thought I’d made a mistake. I tried to live here. I tried to belong here. I fell in love with Baby, and Teddy, and then there is Edward and Jean-Claude. I didn’t want Chimera here. At all.” He winced. “I sacrificed my Pard, and I’d do it again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not bring your Pard here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Selfishness?” Micah shook his head. “I guess because I liked feeling normal. I liked having Baby to myself and then Edward of course and Jean-Claude.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now? With your Pard here mixed in with Harry’s?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s natural now. It worked. It was perfect. I’m glad I got over myself,” said Micah. “I know I shouldn’t have run, especially now. I’ll never do that again. But at the time I was just scared. I thought if I stayed away and my Pard stayed away, St. Louis would be safe. He would be safe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing wrong with being scared Micah. That’s natural. Learning how to react when scared is a part of the process of growing up into an adult. You’re still young, being only twenty-eight now, mistakes are natural. If the situation happened now, how would you respond?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t run,” Micah laughed. “I’d let Edward deal with it or try to let Edward deal with it. As well as knowing whatever happens that Baby will step in and do something ridiculously amazing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do Edward and Harry fix all of the problems?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but they are kind of the go-to at the beginning of issues cropping up. Edward and Harry always have a plan, no matter what’s going on. I’m kind of jealous of that, you know? The two look at each other and they can read one another so well. I mean, I’m not angry, jealous, or any of that. But you know what I mean? It’s like a connection between them. No one else has that with Edward except Harry. Harry can look at him and read him the best.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ve known each other for a long time. Do you not think you will reach that point with them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah rubbed his chin and then shook his head. “No, that’s all Baby. Baby does that to me as well. He can look at me, and he knows exactly what I’m thinking or wanting to do or planning. He does the same to Jean-Claude. It’s his special brand of things. I might get close, but nowhere near their level. I do understand that they’ve known each other longest. They’re also Federal Marshals.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How does that make you feel? The closeness they all have together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Envious, but not in the bad way. Like I said. It’s not bad. It’s just observing, and I probably wouldn’t have been good for Baby back then. I was pretty messed up myself. Still a kid with a bit of trauma. He was never allowed to be a kid.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what happened in Philly.” Lillan asked, changing tracks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s kind of what I meant by saying I was pretty messed up. My past came back,” said Micah. “We met the Agent that was on the case of the leopard who attacked me. Of all the people in America. It was him who met us upon landing. He was the FBI agent that Harry was meeting on the ground. Can you believe it? How many agents are there out there? He just so happens to meet the one that saw me at my worst?” Micah shook his head. “I was in shock and in pain. I lashed out at him. I didn’t mean to. I went too far. Harry was innocent, and I took it out on him. That’s all on me. Not him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you lash out at Harry if you knew he was innocent?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The situation. It’s like the universe revolves in his direction. Fate doing what it wants to toy with him, and I was just upset. My beast was also upset. Not at him, but the situation. He just happened to be there at the time. It was the first clue I really had you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clue?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That something was not quite right,” said Micah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “With Harry?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, me. I’ve been in fight mode this whole time. I think I’ve been suffering from a form of PTSD because I looked at alpha men like Marcus as a threat. I was seeing Chimera. I feared that chimera was back and he was going to take Harry from me. I know the difference now. I realize what I did. I woke up. But… I did damage. I didn’t realize it until it was over.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think that is going to change in the future? What happens if you see Chimera in another?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah really thought about that. “”I don’t know. I’ll have to come back here I suppose or let them know. I guess trying to hide it wasn’t for the best was it? For some reason the world seems to like him a lot. But, I know I’ll never do that again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The universe and the way fate likes to play with him. He has such good luck, but when it goes bad it goes very bad. It’s not his fault. He never asked for things to happen. They just do. Maybe it has something to do with him drawing so many preternaturals to him or maybe it’s just his good heart.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And is that his fault?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God no!” Micah shook his head vehemently. “Sometimes, you say things you truly don’t mean. I know they say you can’t take it back and somewhere inside you do mean it, but that isn’t true.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Sometimes you say things in a moment of anger and frustration, and especially pain. I mean how many teenagers scream they hate their parents? Only for it to not be true? They don’t really mean that. It’s just the pain and whatever is going on being in the way. Also I never said anything horrible to him directly. Just… I lashed out. I said things that I didn’t mean. Harry was being supportive as he always is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Edward and Jean-Claude? How do they support?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah laughed. “Edward has not changed, but he has his own way that he supports you. It’s the little things that he does. If Baby does big things, Edward does the small things. Like a touch, and even a shot to the ass.” He grinned as he said it. “Jean-Claude will do what Jean-Claude does best. He’ll pamper you and try to spend money on you, and then woo you.” He shrugged at this. “Each one of them have their own way of doing things. But the support is big. Bigger than I ever expected. I love them all, and I am proud to be engaged to them. I’m happy about it. Never imagined I’d be engaged to anyone, let alone three men that I love. No matter how much we squabble.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? You’re young and considered handsome by many, why couldn’t you ever be engaged?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah smiled, but it had no happiness in it. “You know why, Dr.” Did he have to spell it out? “I used to think I was a monster. I had a beast, and most would not want to have a beast in their lives.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Had a beast?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No surprise, Dr. Lillian. I hated my leopard. I hated what was in me. I resented it. I accepted it, but I still resented it. I’m also not as small as I appear to be,” Micah laughed. “I’ve had some nasty issues with that in the past. If I’m not a monster for the creature in me, then I’m a monster in other ways.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you still resent your leopard?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” And he meant that. “If I resented my leopard then I’d have to resent Baby who loves me. Who is my Nimir-Ra, my perfect leopard mate. If I resented my leopard, I’d have to resent Teddy’s wolf. Why would I do that? Really, it was Harry and Teddy that taught me to love my leopard. I wish I could say Edward and Jean-Claude taught me that, but they didn’t. It was Teddy and Harry. I still remember the first time Harry wanted me to show Teddy my eyes. Like he was so proud of them. It’s surprising you know? Someone who wants to accept you exactly as you are. For all your flaws. He turns them into strengths. How could I be so lucky? And then there’s Edward. He trusts me. Jean-Claude’s passion. You taste it, you never want to go back. All of them are so important. I don’t want to fuck it up again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you worried that you will?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Micah admitted. “I’m very worried. I didn’t help running Marcus off. We fought a lot. Baby doesn’t know half of it.” He shook his head. “What makes me feel a bit worse is he had reservations about Marcus in the beginning, and we sort of ignored that because we needed the wolves. I needed them for the numbers in case of Chimera. We wanted unity.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not tell Harry about the issues with Marcus? Do you not trust him to be able to deal with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah shook his head. “You don’t get it, Harry is the most trustworthy person in the world. You can always count on him to somehow find the right move to make. But, I didn’t want to hurt him. So I tried to play it cool with Marcus. I tried to ignore the sleights and the issues.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not believe that Harry can take care of himself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah was about to say that he could, but then he snapped his mouth shut. “No. Well, on the surface he can. But when it comes to his wants and needs, my God it’s like pulling teeth with pliers in the hands of a child. He will never tell you what he wants and what he needs. You can ask him, but he might not tell you because he might not know. He might not do it until his back is against the wall, and he has no choice. But he never thinks of himself. He always thinks about others. Everyone else. But, he forgets himself most of all. It’s frustrating, but that’s who he is. He will never put himself first, and so Jean-Claude, Edward, and I do.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you not concerned that you are treating him as a child? He is barely younger than you, just has different experiences.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah tried not to take that personally. His leopard was a bit miffed about her talking to him this way. But he stamped it down. This was a human thing, not a leopard issue. “We don’t treat him like a child. We take care of him. God knows someone has to because he will take care of everyone else, and forget to care for himself. Why do you think he tried to do what he did that night? He didn’t care about himself. I wish I could call him selfish, but he’s not. He doesn’t know how to be. So we have to be selfish for him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By leaving him out of decisions? By keeping what is happening with you quiet from him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah heaved a sigh. Not something he normally did around another lycanthrope. “Maybe you’re right, and we have left him out of a few decisions. I know sometimes we take things too far and are overprotective. But we’ve seen his memories. We’ve seen how he was treated. We watch him every day taking care of everyone else, and he never stops. He never quits. He goes from wolf to wolf and leopard to leopard. He takes care of everyone, and we need to take something off his shoulders. We don’t steal his decisions. If he wants something he will do it, but we have to be careful that he isn’t taken advantage of along the way. Marcus was never around. Marcus cared more about his human life than he did about Harry. He treated Harry like he was some afterthought, and Harry was hurt by that. But he would never say it. We tried to say something but Marcus would just wave it off. We take things off his hands so that he doesn’t have to deal with it. He doesn’t need the added burden or pressure. You know he didn’t even get a pomme really until he found out that Jean-Claude was picking up the slack? He was okay with suffering with it and dealing with it on his own until he discovered this. It hurts us that he cares so little about himself. Even his once Professor said that someone, maybe more than one person, needed to take care of him. She barely knew us, but seemed to know him just like we do.” He hadn’t realized how much he’d said in that one go. He shook his head. “I don’t like this head shrinking stuff.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have found in my time as a doctor, Micah, that men rarely do.” Lillian looked over her notes. “Tell me, do you feel you are supporting Harry by removing these ‘burdens’ or are you keeping him from growing as a person?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we are keeping him from growing as a person because we don’t make all his decisions.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you stop him from learning about issues you are facing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah scowled. “Marcus wouldn’t give Harry the time of day, Dr. Lillian. We tried and tried to get Marcus to go see Harry. But he wouldn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you talk to Harry about the issue?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah we did actually. He said he missed Marcus, but that his job was important. That’s the way Harry is. He believes everything and everyone else is more important than him. I wish he’d be a bit more selfish.” But then Micah shook his head. “No, no I don’t. That’s selfish of me to say. We take what we can off his hands because he’s already working on so much. He’s got a mountain, and we - his lovers and fiances only have a couple handfuls. So I don’t see it as stunting his growth by taking a small handful of decisions when he has ten times as much as us. It’s what we do. We take care of each other.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok taking a caretaker role?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I love the role. Of that I know we all do. I grew up with a big family,” said Micah wistfully. “I left them behind because of Chimera. It’s not a lopsided role because we’re all caretakers of each other. Edward, Jean-Claude, and Harry take care of me. I take care of them, and it’s the same for each of them. We all play a big part, but what I’m talking about is that the universe and fate like to play with Baby. That’s a decision we can’t make for him. He has to do it. So we do what we can to make it easier.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Edward and Jean-Claude. You take care of Harry, what about them? What do you do for them? And what do they do for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Edward is a bit different as the way he handles things is by doing his best to protect them. So he’s the Gardien. He’s the block between things like Chimera. He protects us, and I speak as Nimir-Raj. You can’t do it all yourself, though Harry tries,” he laughed at this. “Jean-Claude is the best at slowing everything down and pouring as much of that born passion he has. I used to wonder what I did for Edward and Jean-Claude, but I know now. I’m never left unhappy. I’m never second to anyone, and that’s nice in this relationship. All of us are equal. We give and take. I just wished Harry took more. I’m sure the other two wish the same, but he’ll never take too much because then he’d feel like he was in the wrong. I hold Edward’s trust. I hold some part of Jean-Claude’s desires and needs. I fill all three roles. It’s like a puzzle. We all fit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about the other men that Harry is with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish he wouldn’t feel guilty about it,” said Micah. “It’s what I mean about wishing he’d be selfish. It’s okay for him to care and love others. It’s okay for him to be with others. He has to be. If he doesn’t he can die, and God I don’t want to see that again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t about how Harry feels. It’s how you feel, Micah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah opened his mouth, shut it, and then sighed. “At first I was uncomfortable with it,” he confessed. “Like I said, I kept feeling like someone was taking him away from me you know? Chimera never let us have anything unless he was involved. But, now I’m fine with it. But you have to know that Harry’s emotions are so vast that they seep out into us. Why do you think Edward can love us? I want Harry to be happy. Just like I want Edward and Jean-Claude to be happy. If they are happy I am happy. If they are upset, I’m upset. If they feel guilty then I feel guilty. Maybe that’s part of the bond we have. I guess we might just be a bit obsessed with each other. Not sorry about that. I’m not jealous. If that’s what you’re asking.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a bad thing for those in a relationship. Just as long as you don’t ignore your feelings and keep silent in order to protect Harry. Revolving your life around him is not healthy, Micah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah laughed. “Yeah, but it’s not just him. We revolve around each other. All of us. It’s hard not to connect their feelings with mine. All of them. Harry’s the most prominent because he is that big well. Everyone else can control themselves. Harry and I are kind of alike in this way. We feel so much, but it’s Harry’s that overflows. If Harry is uncomfortable with someone, then I’m uncomfortable. So is Jean-Claude and Edward. If I’m happy with someone, Harry and the others will be the same.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you never disagree?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh we disagree a lot, but we have all learned to compromise. Even Edward,” Micah laughed at this. “We’ve stumbled a lot. A lot of misconceptions and mess ups, but we never fail to communicate. We’ve learned to communicate.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess the Marcus issue might have been the one thing that we messed up on. It was kind of a first for us. He wasn’t part of our core relationship since he was just dating Baby, I guess we made him feel unwanted. We kind of ran him off from Harry,” said Micah in realization. “All of us. Not just me. Maybe we are a bit overprotective in the way that Harry is the same with us. He has so much power. So much strength. Someone always wants it, and at the beginning it was a power grab. Marcus wanted Harry for his power. It was Harry who fell in love with him. Marcus seemed to fall in love later as well, but he didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know how to be a lover. At least not the one that Harry needed. All he ever knew was that Raina woman. She did no one any favors.” He waved his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why was Harry with Marcus originally? Was that his idea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah shook his head. “It was Marcus’ idea. He started it back when Raina and Richard put that hit on Harry. Jean-Claude expanded on it because he saw this as a way to bring everyone together. Marcus wanted Harry. He was wildly attracted, but at the same time he wanted Harry’s power. He knew where the power was tilting. I believe Marcus did love Harry, but I also believe he didn’t know how to. Raina was the devil, you know. He was used to her and her ways. He could leave her alone and it was fine. She wanted his money and power. Harry didn’t care about either of those things. He just wanted Marcus’ time. Marcus wouldn’t give it to him. We resented him, and in the end we ran him off. I’m sorry but not sorry about it. It’s okay to fall in love with one of us. We can handle it, and we can be alright with that so long as you treat them right. Marcus didn’t treat Harry right. But then, neither did I.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You admit you did not treat him right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that what I’ve been saying this whole time?” Micah frowned, and drew back. “I don’t think you realize what happened before I came to St. Louis. Chimera had our Pard in the palm of his hand. He was leader. Merle gave into him.  We had to do things that even the most bloodthirsty were would have thought twice about. I’ve had to…” Micah averted his gaze. “Do things that at times made me want to end it myself. I couldn’t look in the mirror. I had to tell my family I hated their guts. I had to disown them. I had to make it believable. I haven’t spoken to them since that I did it. It wasn’t until I managed to shift back after almost two years as a leopard. Chimera didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect it. But I changed back. I was lucky, I had just the eyes. It could have been worse far worse.” His eyes were swimming now, and he was trying to wipe at the corners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes it could have,” Lillian agreed neutrally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw Jean-Claude and Harry in the newspapers. I saw that Jean-Claude was with an Animator, and someone who worked for the police. I also heard that he was opening his doors to all available weres and vampires. Chimera didn’t like him. I think because he was very attracted to Jean-Claude. I took my chance. I made him chase me. I went through at least two dozen states, a dozen men and women. I would have to do things that would leave my scent and trail while my Pard was going in the opposite direction. And then I disappeared after I contacted Jean-Claude. Best thing I ever did, but I brought 99 problems along with me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you succeeded. Chimera is no longer here on this earth, your Pard is safe, and you have a family and Community who would never allow that to happen again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah held onto himself. “Yeah… I’ve never had someone look at me the way Harry has looked at me. I’ve never had so much respect from lovers. I was always seen as an object before. Edward asks my advise. Jean-Claude wants to be in my presence, and Harry… he just wants love. I worried and was scared. I was seeing Chimera everywhere, always fearing that Harry would get hurt…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that I’m still seeing shadows.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trauma does not go away because of practicality. Trauma does not disappear in the face of other dangers. Eventually it will rear its ugly head and you have to face it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I learned that, and the Harlequin didn’t help any. But they are not an excuse.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No they’re not. So, what are you going to do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fight this because I realized even from the grave, Chimera is still winning if I’m letting him influence me with my relationships. Seeing Harry and the others as myself, it amazes me how much Harry can love other people. He can take a group of leopards that were broken and brittle, and he makes them strong. He fills them to the very top. He keeps doing it, and it never seems to overflow. I want to watch him love more people because I don’t think I can do that. I want to stand back and watch because it’s the purest thing I’ve ever seen since my sister Beth was born.” Wow, he had said way more than he expected. He hadn’t meant to run at the mouth, and now he as embarrassed. It was quiet for a long time, and Micah managed to get his twisted feelings under control. He borrowed some of Edward’s coolness to help settle him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll pick this up again next time. Micah, I would like it if you thought about and came in with a list of things you would do if the Wild Hunt ever came back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this school or counseling?” Micah huffed. “I have to write a list?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that list should not be all about Harry.” Lillian grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah blinked. “Well, can’t I just save you the list and tell you we’d kick their asses?” he tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope. I want you to really think about this. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah stammered. He had way too much to do in a day and night to be writing out a list. “Fine. If you want to play it that way.” He grumbled. He stood and stretched. “And I know it seems like all I can come up with is Harry this and Harry that. But that isn’t the case. It’s not always about Harry. It’s just this time it is because it was Harry who almost died. It was him they targeted, and that just isn’t fair.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Micah, we’ll get to all the rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just so you know I’d be doing the same if this was Jean-Claude who almost died or Edward. But it was Harry. It’s still fresh, none of us like it. So prepare for an overload of Harry. It happens.” He walked out without another word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he did think too much in the realm of what they felt, he should feel. But that’s kind of how he’d always been, and being one with three men had a habit of meshing his emotions with theirs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would he do if the Wild Hunt returned? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he wanted to do was take his family and run if he were being honest. But is that what she wanted to hear? Him being a coward? He couldn’t be a coward. He was a Nimir-Raj. He was the Leopard King. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kings didn’t run, and Edward would never forgive him. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>This was so unfair! Peter had no idea why he had to do this. It’s not like this preternatural stuff had anything to do with him. Not really. Such a time waster, but Ted had given him that look. A look that said to go or else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Ted gives you that look it was always best not to say no. He’d seen a therapist after all the shit that happened with his mother and stuff. So why was he going back?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know Dr. Lillian very well, but he did know she was considered a trusted wererat, and of course a doctor. He ended up flopping down in the hard leather chair, and he stared at the woman who stared back at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Peter. Do you know why you’re here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” said Peter. He tried to keep the indignance out of his voice. He knew how to be respectful when he had to. She was a lieutenant in the Rodere after all. “I don’t get it.” He shrugged as he folded his arms over his chest. “I’ve been through counseling. I don’t need anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you have, it’s noted in your file. I don’t know what was discussed with your past therapist and I won’t ask unless something comes up. You are here because of what has happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a big deal,” said Peter grumpily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Teddy got into a fight, want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter rolled his eyes. “Not really. It’s over with. Done. Everything’s fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We apologized to each other. Isn’t that enough? The kid won’t stop crawling in bed with me since it all wrapped up,” Peter grumbled with a slump. Not that he really minded, the kid was a brat. But he was a good kid. Peter liked him. Almost reminded him of Becca. But after Peter turned fourteen, Becca was not allowed to sleep with him anymore. His mother’s rules. His mother seemed to have this sick idea in her head. Idiot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that bother you? Him crawling into bed with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter frowned at her. How did she know what he was thinking? “No. He’s a sweet kid. I accept the blame for the fight, I was being stupid in the first place.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say he’s a sweet kid, yet you had a screaming fight. Anything there you want to talk about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was my fault.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was it your fault?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was. I’m sixteen, he’s nine. As the older person, of course it’s my fault. Not a few hours ago I’d gotten off the phone with my mother. I rarely talk to her these days. She made me angry. She put shit in my head,” Peter looked away at this. “It was bad timing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has anyone explained about the Wild Hunt that occurred?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Ted told me what was going on. But he also told me not to let it be an excuse. You don’t excuse your own actions unless you want it to kill you in the end,” said Peter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good advice. I just wanted to make sure you understood that some of what you were feeling was likely heightened by the gris-gris they used. Let’s talk about this ‘shit’ your mother put in your head. Can you give me an example?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I only ever call for Becca. To make sure she’s okay,” said Peter. “Mom always starts by blaming Harry, and trying to fill my head with stupid stuff like if it wasn’t for him Ted would be our father and her husband. Normally I tell her to shut up, and that I don’t want to hear it. She talks nonsense. I mean, I know Harry’s known Ted for much longer. I knew this, but I just had too much rage, and then Teddy comes in not long after complaining that Ted and I went hunting without him again, and when he called Ted Dad, I got pissed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you normally deal with rage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have a gym. I normally punch it out on something,” said Peter. “Or go to the shooting range. Ted’s good at reading my moods. But, you know Teddy doesn’t need to be around guns and hunting and stuff. He’s a kid. He needs to stay that way. At least he has a choice, I didn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a kid. He should be a kid. I was a kid when I took a shotgun to the werewolf that killed my dad. At least he has a choice. I don’t have one. I have to do something with all this. If not…” He was quiet. “It doesn’t matter.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what will happen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you will hurt someone with your rage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. Probably. I don’t feel much except rage,” Peter admitted. “But, I didn’t mean to yell at Teddy. I like Teddy. I don’t feel rage against Teddy. You can’t. Kid is too nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mentioned you had a problem when Teddy called Edward ‘Dad’. Why is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t. Not normally. Just that day I was annoyed. I guess I was a bit jealous because he has everyone at the house. He has Harry, Micah, and Jean-Claude. He has to take Ted too? I know it’s stupid now. He’s known Ted a lot longer. It was just mom putting shit in my head.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not have anyone but Edward at the house?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter paused at this. “I-” But, as much as he did have Ted, it wasn’t Ted that was up with him every morning before school. “I don’t know. I guess… Harry’s always there and of course Micah. Now Jean-Claude these days. I don’t know,” he said once more. That’s about all things amounted to. A lot of ‘I don’t knows.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright not to know. How do you feel about Edward?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter’s hands started to grow hot and he rubbed them on his knees. “Closest thing I have to a Father I guess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you told him this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter looked at her as if she was insane. “Tell Ted that?” He blinked. “I er - no. But I’m sure he knows. I mean. I go to him for most things. Harry for some and even Micah, but Ted does have custody of me. He’s taught me a lot of things you know? How to deal with rage and stuff.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because he has custody doesn’t mean he knows how you feel about him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter snorted. “I don’t think he cares enough about that. Ted and I get along so well because we - don’t feel much of anything,” he confessed looking away. “What we do feel is oftentimes shallow. I know this. He’s taught me how to deal with it so that I don’t end up in prison or end up one of those serial killers.” He flinched when he said this, and looked away. He probably shouldn’t have said that. Ted will kill him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not here to judge you Peter. I’m here to help you work through things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get it. One of Ted’s first rules was to keep your mouth shut. But then he drags me here, and tells me to let it go. I don’t understand!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll have to ask him for clarification.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He does clarify things when you prompt him. Most of the time. It’s different, you know? Living here. Everyone is so willing and open.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about Harry and Micah?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter’s face grew hot, and he averted his gaze. “What do you mean?” he asked shiftily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mentioned them earlier when I asked about having anyone else at the house. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry is always up with us every morning. Micah is usually there in the afternoon or evenings, and it’s all of them at night. I mean, you asked how I felt about them? I er - I don’t know. It’s complicated.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is it complicated? Is it because your blood spikes when you think of them?” Lillian fought to keep a straight face as Peter scowled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ulgh, I almost forgot you’re a were!” He grumbled. “I - er - fuck. Dammit. You’re going to tell them stuff aren’t you?” he accused in a splutter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor patient confidentiality. I only have to tell someone something if they have a warrant and it’s related to a court trial. I won’t be telling anyone about what is said here. Not even my Rom, he respects my oath as a doctor. You can say what’s on your mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s hard to see them as family when they’re so attractive,” Peter muttered very quietly. “Harry takes care of me all the time. But dammit, it’s hard. He’s too pretty, and he’s the nicest person ever. I mean, God, the way he touches my shoulder and stuff.” He bowed his head as he felt his face grow hot. “And then there’s Micah who is hot and also nice and good to me. When he hugs me, I’m not thinking ‘guardian’! And then there’s Jean-Claude, and the stuff in the house. That ardeur. It’s not easy. Luckily it doesn’t change things with Ted or I’d be even more screwed up. But Micah and Harry - Harry is the second guardian on record at school and stuff, but he’s not. He didn’t sign the forms when Ted took custody. Only Ted did.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think that your feelings are only because of the ardeur?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter paused at this, and then shook his head. “No. I met them way before that. I was a kid back then so I didn’t really put it together. But I was fond of Harry… he protected me. He helped me, and then there’s Micah. He always makes a point to talk to me. Like I’m worth something, you know? I don’t get it. But the ardeur thing doesn’t help none.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t he talk to you like you're worth something? You are Edward’s ward, shouldn’t you mean something to them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just Ted’s charge. Nothing more, you know? But Harry won’t even let me out of the house unless I’ve eaten and have food with me or money for it. I mean, why would they care about me? I’m not anyone really. It’s confusing, and then there’s me being attracted to them. It’s not supposed to work like that is it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re important to Edward, so you are important to them. Your attraction to them is not unusual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The why related to your importance is an answer that Micah and Harry should be answering for you. Ask them. Your attraction? You’re a teenager and they are attractive individuals. Are you concerned about being attracted to men or specifically Harry, Micah, and Jean-Claude?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I get it. Everyone in the house is pretty fluid. I’m fluid too. I have issues with girls but that’s totally separate,” said Peter. “Harry’s a good person. He didn’t deserve me treating him like shit when he’s good to me. Micah’s good too, and then there’s Teddy. Ted says that a man, no matter it’s flavor, is no good if they don’t protect something or someone. He says that’s the only distinction between what we are and what serial killers are. We have to protect something. We have to take care of something or we’re useless. We have to put all our energy into it. More than most people because it’s shallow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who or what do you protect?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I once protected mom and Becca, but mom turned on me for being a bit messed up. Stupid woman couldn’t even crawl out from under the table to console Becca. I had to do it with blood all over my hands. I didn’t know what I was doing. But then Harry puts the gun in my hands when that woman … put her hands on me. He let me get rid of my nightmare. Ted took me in. Jean-Claude is a vampire. We’re not supposed to be friends with vampires, but I like him. He’s hot, and kind of funny the way he talks and goes on. Harry is so pretty and looks like he’s my age. Micah is the hottest. I shouldn’t think this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you a secret Peter? Most people, adults included, don’t know what they’re doing. There’s also nothing wrong with being friends with vampires or thinking the men you are around all the time are hot. You acknowledge Edward as a guardian, but you haven’t labelled Micah, Jean-Claude, or Harry that. Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can I when I think of other stuff?” Peter grumbled. “Harry is a guardian. He does so much for everyone. Me included. He never leaves me out. Micah too. But, saying they’re a guardian when I… think of other things... I mean, it’s not what I’m supposed to do right?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says who? You aren’t related to each other, you share no blood. Honestly Peter, I’d be more concerned if you lived in that house with the ardeur flowing and didn’t feel something.” Lillian looked at him for a moment and hummed. “Is there someone that you trust to help you deal with what you feel when the ardeur comes out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter chewed his lip. “Sort of, but not really. I mean…” He thought about Nathaniel. They were pretty good friends, but it hadn’t ever escalated beyond that. He’d gotten kissed a time or two on the cheek and that was about it. Nathaniel had once told him to turn eighteen first. “I’m too young apparently.” He would deny later that he ever sulked about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who were you thinking about just now? Are they the one who told you, you were too young?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter nodded. “Nathaniel,” he mumbled quietly. “But I think he just isn’t interested and is being nice about it. I mean. He’s perfect. I messed up. I’m a kid to everyone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you mess up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried to kiss him once. He stopped us and told me to wait. I think he just wasn’t interested,” said Peter with a slump of his shoulders. “I’m not pretty and perfect like some of the guys at home. Everyone is so… shocking looking. Why is everyone hot?” He grumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a fair question, sadly not one I have an answer for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just wish I felt normal sometimes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s normal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not being empty or full of rage. It’s not as bad at home though. I mean. It’s hard to feel empty and rageful except that time I blew up at Teddy. I think that was the first time I ever felt guilty,” said Peter with a frown. “I mean, Harry saved my life and protected me. So has Ted, and Teddy is a great kid even if he is mouthy. I hurt everyone. I am sorry about that. I know that house isn’t normal normal, but it’s close as I can get. I wish I can feel more normal. Like them. Do you know what I mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like you’re making good steps to it. I hope you come back for the following sessions that were set up. In the meantime, Peter, I’m going to give you a challenge.” Lillian set her notepad to the side. “I want you to speak to someone in the house, I don’t care who, about the house dynamics and where they see everyone in it. I want you to have that third-person view.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Peter asked with confusion. “Ask who?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pick anyone who lives at the house, or any of the Pard submissives. Ask them to describe to you those who live in the house and how everyone is connected. Like a family tree, but you aren’t tracing your blood relatives. You’re mapping your household.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was the point of that? He shrugged. “Okay.” He supposed he understood. “I guess I can go do that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He supposed that was it. He had no reason not to come back. Ted would drag him anyway. But, God, what if she opened her mouth and squealed this stuff? It’d be so embarrassing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He headed for the door. His mind was full of stuff, and now all he wanted to do was go home and sleep. Probably masturbate first. Huh, so no one knew why everyone was so fucking hot in St. Louis? Sheesh. It wasn’t fair. Not fair at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did he feel for Harry and Micah and Jean-Claude? Did they mean more than simply being there? Did Peter mean anything to them at all? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t sure if he was ballsy enough to ask those questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter. It would all go away sooner or later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t the first time that Harry had gone into Dr. Lillian’s office. Of course, the first few times had been over business, and helping set up funding and budgets and all that fun stuff. He wasn’t entirely sure if going in as a patient to have his head examined was really something he should be doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> It wasn’t like anyone could help them. Harry was pretty sure they did just fine. They were the leaders, not the ones who had the problems. They cast their own issues away so that they could help the others. Harry had been planning on trying to skip out, but Edward caught him at it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Dr. Lillian.” He’d just seen Peter and Teddy off to their first day of school since the holidays. It was icy and cold outside. He shivered beneath the leather jacket he was wearing that morning. He missed his fur coat that he’d once had, but he’d stopped wearing it because it had Marcus’ fur on it. It just didn’t feel right wearing it anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning Harry. Thank you for coming in. Hot chocolate? It’s quite cold out there today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s frigid, but no thank you. I’m full on coffee. I shouldn’t have anymore or I’ll be walking the ceiling without magic,” said Harry taking a seat on the leather armchair. “How’s the paperwork?” he asked, staring at the well together pile. It was always neat and in perfect order. How did she do it? Even his magic couldn’t keep papers in order without the tower starting to lean. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As expected. Being the Head Doctor doesn’t stop me from having to do paperwork. How is your own?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Between Micah, Jean, and me we have enough paperwork for a couple centuries. Even with magic it gets mixed up from time to time,” Harry confessed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have the one home office, correct? Is that shared by all of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded. “Yeah, we tried to do separate offices, but no one likes being shut up alone in there. So we all have one office, but separate desks. Most of the time we’re not even in the office. It ends up downstairs in the den with everyone else.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you often work at the same time at home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes and no. Micah and I work the most at the same time. Jean-Claude and us sometimes. Edward picks up a lot of slack these days. He’s taken over all the security paperwork that’s needed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how do you manage it? Paperwork, your job at Animator’s, Inc, working with RPIT, raising Teddy, raising Peter, multiple relationships… that’s a lot to juggle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed. She even forgot Pard and Pack meetings. “Yeah, don’t forget Pard and Pack meetings.” Pack issues had been endless since Marcus disappeared. “Everyone’s a lifesafer. All of them pick up the slack so much. I feel like I’m hardly getting anything done, you know? I work four nights a week at Animators. I used to work five, but I’ve had to cut back so I have more time. Many times someone else takes my meetings, but I do the raisings. It’s easier that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about that? Spending less time at Animators?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shrugged. “Honestly, if I didn’t have to raise I wouldn’t. But I have no choice. I have to do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about RPIT?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone has to be the bridge between our community and the human one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that not what the Coalition is for? To help be that bridge?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True, but I need to be there on the ground. I mean, what if our people get in trouble? I don’t want them in human hands or the law, especially with the way things are so unfair. I’ve also made such good strides teaching the RPIT department. Dolph’s issue not withstanding. If we can get fairness maybe I can cut back. But until then I’ll keep working. Besides, I’m a Federal Marshal. I don’t have a choice but to take on what they try to send me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like being a Federal Marshal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry thought about this, and shrugged. “Yes and no. I like having the freedom of going across the state when we need it, but I’d rather not deal with the politics if you know what I mean? It gets tiring having to answer the same questions from a different department, and defend myself for my choices.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have to defend your choices often?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed. “Oh yeah, but I won’t back down. I’m not ashamed of them. I won’t hide my relationships or the people in my family. No way. So I’ll argue until we’re black and blue. They’re not some dirty little secret. I’m proud of them. My fiances and my family. If I am ever forced to choose I’ll quit being a Marshal. I’d rather not, I don’t like quitting or giving up. But I’ll do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who is in your family Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grinned shamelessly. “You know that answer, Dr. Lillian,” he waved his hand. “Everyone. The whole community really.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why the whole community? Most people consider those close to them to be family, why the whole community for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I am Lupa and these days acting Ulfric. Of course, I’m Nimir-Ra and a lot of other things as well.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t make you their parent or sibling. Makes you their leader.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be a leader you have to accept everyone like a parent would accept their child. It’s just what happened. My leopards need me, and the Pack needs me more than ever right now. Abandonment is not an option,” said Harry sharply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one said anything about abandonment, Harry. Please don’t put words in my mouth. Not every parent accepts their child. Not every leader treats their group as family. They are all communities, but not family. Why are they family to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s why they fail,” said Harry softly. “If you are going to dish out rules and discipline. You have to take the good with the bad, and any parent who doesn’t accept their child is just a coward and ungrateful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there something wrong about being a coward?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry arched a brow. “Everything is wrong with being a coward. A coward and self-preservation are two different things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes someone a coward versus self-preservation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s take Draco for instance. He’s the best example,” said Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Draco is a self-preserving git. Good friend though, so don’t take that the wrong way,” Harry laughed. “But, he’s not a coward. He won’t take on a fight he knows he can’t win. He will run if things get really bad, however he will not run away from a friend, family, or someone who means something to him. He won’t give up on those important to him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So someone who runs away or gives up is a coward?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty much. It’s not definite, but it’s the markers.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Micah a coward for running from Chimera?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry paused at this, and tilted his head. “Yes,” he said honestly. He saw the surprise in her eyes, though her face remained blank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you love him less for that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” said Harry. “I love him more for it, most of the time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most of the time, Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shrugged. “He often… He won’t…” Harry huffed. “I don’t know. It hurts like when he ran away from us for months because of Chimera. I mean, who better to fight this bastard than Edward, Jean-Claude, and me? He wouldn’t trust us to handle it. I know he was scared, and I get that. I understand why he ran the first time. He didn’t have anyone, and Merle was the biggest coward of them all letting it all happen. But this time he had us, and he ran.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like when you didn’t trust your men during the Wild Hunt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned at her. “That’s not fair. I trust them with my life and my death. I was so sure that if I broke the bonds the right way they would live.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But they would have lost you. Teddy would have lost you. Peter, the Pard, the Pack… you would have been lost. Why didn’t you trust that they could handle it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They couldn’t,” said Harry softly. “Everyone was breaking down. I couldn’t stand it. Micah was losing it. Jean-Claude was starting to lose it. Teddy lost it... “ He shook his head. “Besides, everyone would have taken care of each other just fine. I made sure Teddy wouldn’t end up like me. Peter surely doesn’t need me. He has Edward, and they have each other. It wouldn’t have mattered, and if it stopped the fighting... Stopped everyone from hurting, then taking the toxin out that’s causing it was the answer. It’s a sacrifice. Not cowardice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The toxin was in the gris-gris.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, now we know that,” said Harry sadly. “Snape would likely call me an attention seeker, but it’s true that this was about me. It wasn’t about Jean-Claude. It was about me and my freakishness.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think they targeted you? Out of everyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned. “It’s always been me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it is because you are the weakest of the group? The strongest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Just me being a freak, Dr. Lillian,” he said calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you a freak Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed coldly. “I’ve been a freak for a very long time, and it only gets worse. I can’t age. My powers are growing. My Necromancy is growing. I’m a freak because I keep collecting things that I shouldn’t. I should be well past my age of majority as a wizard. It’s twenty-one or so when your magical core stops growing. Mine keeps going, and being a Necromancer? Those powers are growing too. I have all these creatures, and I can’t shift. I am not normal.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All that just makes you special. Not a freak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell that to the world,” said Harry. “I can’t even die properly, and this is before Jean-Claude ever came into the picture. One of the reasons I became a bounty hunter with Edward and then a Federal Marshal was because I knew that if I didn’t look for trouble, trouble was going to find me. It seems to drop on my doorstep every single time. It doesn’t stop.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So if you got to it first, you could what? Defend against it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I know it’s coming or if I go to it, I can do something about it. I know what happens when I’m taken off guard. Something bad. It always does.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like with the Wild Hunt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my first Wild Hunt, Dr. Lillian. Not the first time I’ve had masks after me. Not the first time I’ve been tortured and almost killed. Least I’m an adult now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the first time you tried to kill yourself in response.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, you’re wrong,” said Harry, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Care to elaborate, Harry?” Lillian asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I left the magical world a broken child, literally. I was dead inside. I knew what Edward was the moment I spoke to him on the phone. You don’t spend seventeen years like I did, and not read what a person is from tone of voice,” Harry smiled somberly. “He took me and taught me, but I threw myself into it hard. I wondered how far I could take this no dying thing. I didn’t care. I didn’t care until about two years after I moved stateside. Edward knows. He doesn’t talk about it. But he knows how dead I was. He was trying to keep me alive. I think that’s part of why he works so hard now. Now that we are together. He protects me with everything he has. Maybe he always did even when he couldn’t feel at all. I don’t know. I’m a bit of a dunderhead that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s talk about your relationships briefly. You’re engaged now, you have a son in Teddy, Edward’s ward lives with you, you have Pomme’s, a vampire servant… All of them live with you, except Jean-Claude, in that house. Talk to me about them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry blinked at the change in topic. It was a quick left there. “I love them all,” he said emphatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I’m going to ask for more than that, Harry. Is it a challenge loving all of them?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head. “No. It’s easy. I love it. I can’t imagine the house being empty. It’s not mine anymore. It’s theirs too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think they feel the same way about you, the house, and others that live there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know my fiances do, and I’m sure some of them do, but whether the others do or not doesn’t matter. It has no bearing on how I feel for them,” said Harry. “Their feelings don’t always have to determine your feelings after all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have ownership over anything?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elaborate?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned. “What’s it matter?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just curious. You say your house is theirs and no longer yours.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah. I mean, if you live with me it’s not just mine anymore. It’s theirs too. It’s their home for as long as they wish for it to be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, do you own anything? What do you personally own that the others do not? Including your fiances, and Teddy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stared at her for a moment, wondering why the question was so important. He shrugged. “My wand? At least this one. I suppose my invisibility cloak, but that’ll soon be handed over to Teddy. It’s a family heirloom. I own plenty of things. But I don’t see why that’s important. You can ask Draco. He’ll give you a laundry list.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do your fiances have anything that is just theirs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed. “Oh yeah. Edward and his weapons. Jean-Claude and his clothes, those are all his! I guess also his hair care products. Merlin he has so many.” He grinned. “Micah tried to wear one of those shirts he owns, and he looked like a little boy doing so. And like the rest of us, Micah owns himself. We each own ourselves and then each other. Micah’s also got a penchant for his three piece suits. He says they make him look less girly.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those are very materialistic things, Harry. Do they have things beyond clothes and guns that are just theirs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah. Edward has his hunting, Micah has the Coalition, and Jean-Claude has his business, but I know that’s not what you mean. I mean they own themselves. When it comes down to it everything’s materialistic. We also, I guess, own each other.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know the four of you hold a bond that many can find difficult to pierce. Is that because you ‘own’ each other?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry went quiet for a moment as he contemplated the answer. He hadn’t realized that they might be a bit on the inclusive side. He supposed in the end that was kind of true. In a polyamorous relationship there had to be something they owned of each other. Something that was all theirs and no one else’s. No matter the lovers they took. “I guess. I’m still a bit on the hazy side when it comes to the finer details of relationships. I’m pretty sure ours is one of a kind, not counting the whole Tetrumvirate aspect. But, we are also very different people. All four of us. We have different views on things, and we all try to respect that even if we don’t necessarily agree or like it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you give me an example? What don’t you agree with in your relationships?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry huffed. He didn’t really want to talk about it. “It doesn’t really matter. It’s insignificant.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think it’s insignificant?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the grand scheme of things yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then tell me. I’m curious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t always agree with Edward and Jean-Claude’s politics or their way of doing things. I’m not the shoot first kind or the seducer you know? Micah can get a bit on the overprotective side. If things start getting hard or rough, his first instinct is to bow out or run away. He doesn’t really like me putting myself in danger. I’m sure there’s loads that they don’t agree with when it comes to me as well.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Overprotective? Why does that sound familiar?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of them have their form of overprotectiveness, but Edward and Micah are a bit more extreme. Jean-Claude is more likely to watch what happens before he reacts. Probably because he’s six hundred years old.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about yourself? Are you overprotective?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It depends. When it comes to Teddy, I know I am,” said Harry flat out. “I’ve been okay with him knowing truths and dead honesty. I understand all the intimate things he needs knowledge of so that what happened to my Pard and the wolves never happens to him. Forewarned is always forearmed, you know? The violent parts I’m still trying to cope with,” he confessed. “Violence is hardly about love after all. At least with sex I can show him the love aspect, you know? Teach him that way, but violence even if it’s for pride and dignity. There’s nothing that finds me comfortable with it. As for the men. I’m overprotective when it comes to… I guess women,” he laughed weakly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Women?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like the idea of adding women to our circle. Even for fun. Just rankles me, the idea of a woman getting involved with one of my fiances. When it comes to ‘protection’ Edward, Micah, and Jean-Claude don’t really need it. Micah maybe a bit more so, but I’ve learned you should let them make their own decisions on that. I can make Teddy’s because he’s still too young to do that himself. I can only watch and wait and support them. Is that what you want?” he asked awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come back to Teddy in a moment, but first. What about your lovers outside of the four of you? How do you feel about them seeing women?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean like Marcus was?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rom may have mentioned that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked to the side in thought. “I don’t have a problem with them seeing women. The problem I had with Marcus about this was he never told me. I had no idea he was dating someone until it was mentioned by one of his colleagues. If I knew he wanted to date someone his age, I would have been fine with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His age?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Marcus was almost twenty years older than me and it doesn’t help that I look ten years younger than I am. I think that really started to bother him. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I used to joke that he was getting gray hairs or showing his age when he mentioned something. A forty-two year old can’t really date someone who looks seventeen, even if I am twenty-seven. But it was humiliating, the way I found out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We ran into his colleagues at the theatre. He introduced me as a work-study student he was mentoring, mentioned he had to make sure I got home before it got too late. He was asked how his girlfriend was and when they’d see her next.” Harry scrunched down into the chair, as if his body thought it would swallow him up and take him away. “That’s when I learned he was seeing someone. He had never mentioned anything before, no hint that he wanted to or was thinking about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Marcus made you think he was ashamed of having a young lover.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Harry replied even though it wasn’t asked as a question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you consider taking a younger lover? How young would be too young before you weren’t proud of it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d always be proud of a lover, younger or older. It depends really, I might not be comfortable taking someone on who was a young teenager right now. Definitely not comfortable with anyone below the age of consent!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So no one younger than sixteen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess… I mean... they should be at least seventeen at a minimum, but even if someone was added as a lover ten years from now, when I’m thirty-seven and they were seventeen, I’d love them. I’d date them and make sure they knew they were wanted, but probably wouldn’t plan to have sex until they were done with school. No need to create a huge distraction for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Speaking of being young. You said Teddy was too young to make a decision. Why is Teddy too young? When will he be old enough?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grinned. “I’d like to say never, but I know when he’ll be old enough because he’ll tell me off. He’ll tell me like it is, and whether I like it or not I’ll have to accept it. He’s got a lot of Edward in him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Will he? What makes you certain that Teddy will speak up against your decision?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made sure when I took him that Teddy knew that he always had freedom to speak,” said Harry. “It’s the one thing we worked so hard for. If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough for the truth. Usually. For instance, I did not like him watching Rafael and Haven fighting. I went overboard. I put him to sleep, but then later he told me that he felt he needed to watch it. So I thought perhaps if I know that fighting for dominance isn’t going to end in bloodshed. Maybe spars or something of that nature will help and ease him in. Not throw it in his face. Not shove him out into the open and let him watch two full grown men bloody each other.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't always know how a dominance fight will go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not all the time, but I can with a bit of insight into who is having the fight. For instance, I trusted Rafael, but I did not trust Haven. Also I knew Rafael would never want Teddy to see him fighting like that. Not in that way,” said Harry calmly. “He’s seen two matches now, Shang-Da and Jamil facing off. Not to kill each other, but they’re often trying to see who is better. Both of them know their own limits, and they’re not too proud. It’s a fine line. I know I’ll cross and break it at some point. But at least Teddy can’t say I didn’t do my best. I may very well screw him up. But if I do that I have three others who can help fix him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about Peter? Do you worry about him like you do Teddy?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed. “I do, but it’s different. The parameters are different. Peter isn’t too far from me in that regard. He’s already seen the world’s nasty sides. He wasn’t eased in. But, the fact is, he has Edward. Merlin, if only I had an Edward as a child. I think he’ll be alright. I knew before Peter came to us that he was going to come to Edward. I had no doubt in my mind. In fact, I had a room prepared a few months in advance. He has me too, but Edward is the one who can brace him. He’s the one who can teach him. All I can do is care for him and feed him. Try and love him in a way that he’ll let me because you know, teenagers.” He grinned slightly at this.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, teenagers… and what way does Peter need you to love him?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I personally don’t know. He’s like me, but not like me at the same time. I just do my best to make sure he can be happy. I think sometimes even a hug or a pat on the shoulder. An ear to listen. Edward isn’t good with the emotional stuff, so that often gets delegated to Micah and me. He’s a sweet kid when it gets right down to it. He just thinks he’s not. I am careful with him more than I probably should be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How does he fit into your life? And that of your fiances?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He feels like he’s always been there. I’d say like Teddy, but he’s not. He’s an adult, teenager or not. He’s got the adult eyes, the adult experiences of nightmares. He might have the teenage emotions but that’s about it. I’ve been in his shoes. An adult before you’re sixteen, but no one lets you be. So I do my best to make sure he always has a choice to make. Edward does too. Micah treats him as a good friend. Probably not parental much like Teddy, but I think he sees it too. Peter isn’t a child.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How does Peter get along with the others in the house?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprisingly well. At first we were careful with him because you know, he came from a conservative background. New Mexico is still one of </span>
  <em>
    <span>those</span>
  </em>
  <span> states. It’s always best to try and ease someone in rather than throw the door open and kick them out on their arse. But he gets along with them well. He’s especially close to Nathaniel, and now that he is learning to drive he predominantly takes Nathaniel back and forth to work all the time. He also likes the twins a lot. Really, he’s friendly with everyone. Seems to get along with them much easier than I expected.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does he bring friends over? A romantic partner or anything? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed and shook his head. “No. We’ve asked about friends. He says they’re associates, not friends. I insist that I can hide things in the house if he’s uncomfortable. I can even kick out the boys for a while if he wants to, but Peter still has trust issues. It’s not as bad as it was, but it is there. As for lovers, I don’t think he has any. Edward doesn’t either because of what’s happened to him. I think that’s why Nathaniel and him get along. I know all of Nathaniel’s past. It sort of makes sense, and then there are the twins. They can understand him.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was quiet for a moment, and then Lillian had to go ask about the question he was wanting to avoid. “Let’s talk about Marcus.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to,” said Harry sharply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head. “I’m not ready.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you’ll be ready?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably not. He ran away from me. I screwed up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you screw up? From what I’ve heard it was him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry snorted. “No, they like to think it was him. But I didn’t do enough,” he said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I only loved him halfway. I didn’t open my heart far enough for him. I thought I was supposed to hold something back since he wasn’t Jean-Claude, Micah, or Edward. I realize now that was wrong. I should have let him have all of me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he wasn’t giving you all of him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. But I should have at least tried because two wrongs don’t make a right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you love him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if it was a power play on his part and those of your fiances?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Harry looked away. “I never asked for power. I never asked for more than I need.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yet, you do get it. A lot of people want it. It was part of the Harlequin’s motives after all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm. If there is ever a next time, and I don’t mean with Marcus, but I’ll make sure that they know I love them and how much I love them. I learn from my mistakes after all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you and Marcus still have a chance?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he came back now? Yes. But, I don’t think he will.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound certain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a couple thing you know? I can feel it. My wolf feels it. I’ll probably see him again someday. But it’ll be as an ex-lover. I just hope I’m prepared for that meeting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"One last question before our time is up for today. If you take care of everyone, who takes care of Harry?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Edward, Rafael, Micah, and Jean-Claude,” he answered immediately. “And Teddy of course. I’d probably be lost without them. I suppose that poncy git Draco too. Before everyone it was only him and me after all,” he said affectionately. “And then you have Damian who likes to care for me, and Wicked and Truth… even my leopards try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well. That's it for today. I want you to think about this question before our next meeting." Lillian smiled. "Do you trust them to take care of you, to have your best interests at heart, to make decisions on your behalf?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded. “Okay, but I already know that answer, and it’s an emphatically yes. It’s why I was so confident that night. I know for a solid fact that if I were to one day disappear from this world that Teddy would be alright, that everyone would be alright because they have each other.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That wasn't the question Harry. This wasn't about taking care of others. It's about you. Come back next time ready to answer it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned at her. “Alright. I don’t quite get it, but I’ll think about it. See you later, Dr. Lillian.” He tried to smile but it came out a bit weaker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did she want out of him? He did his best. At least he thought he did. Maybe he needed to do better? He so didn’t want to think about Marcus again. It hurt way too much. He did not hear the neutral good doctor sigh softly as he left the room lost in his own head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not the first time that Edward had gone to a counselor or therapist of any kind. Over the years, and when he first realized there was something wrong with him, he had. He had thought it was the smart man’s way of doing it. Go find out what the fuck was wrong with him, and then he could deal with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, the first counselor he ever spoke to recommended that he seek guidance elsewhere because he couldn’t be helped. Edward had found that very amusing, and had ended up toying with the counselor. A few times he’d gone in as a bereaved ex-husband or a widow if only for information purposes and profiling. Therapists after all were brilliant at helping further his disguises. A perfect camouflage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, this time around Edward knew that those in his care needed something that he couldn’t possibly provide. Alpha and Little Raven were the two big ones, and then there was Peter. He knew Teddy would always be okay because he had Little Raven and them. Mostly, Little Raven. Teddy was like a carbon copy of Little Raven. He was that same big golden heart that Edward wished he could possess, but he knew he’d never get close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he waltzed through the office, no doubt Jean-Claude badgered the good doctor about her decor. He had to admit that he did respect her. She was a keen and intelligent woman. Of course, she was a Chief of Staff. You couldn’t be mediocre and get that far. But then, there was Marcus who got lucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He supposed he saw Rafael as a friend in a way. He was probably the closest outside of his lovers that he could consider. Rafael was also not an idiot. He was a military minded man who was constantly watching his people. He was constantly training them to be better. He didn’t suffer fools. Edward liked that. So he had agreed to this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Edward. Thanks for coming in."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a problem, Dr,” he said with his bright Ted smile. Although, she had seen his Edward side far too much to be moved by it. But, it never hurts. He took a lazy seat as though he were in the most comfortable position in the world. His eyes sparkled with mirth, and he folded his hands into his lap as he crossed one ankle across his knee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can drop the Ted persona here. I want to speak with you, not him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure about that? Most professionals, once they know the score, will recommend me elsewhere or nowhere. It’s dangerous for one of your profession to be counseling someone like me. So I thought I’d make things easier. Ted is every man’s man after all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not here to change you, I'm here to help you find insights. Can’t do that if you aren't you. Since I'm not trained in therapy, I won't be trying to diagnose you or anything. Be yourself, and speak the truth."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And like the arctic, Edward’s eyes switched. His face became slack, but he never lost his comfortable position. “I can respect that. If it makes me a better killer, why not? Besides, the others need me here, so I guess I have to be.” He opened his hands as if to show that they were very empty. Empty as his eyes, and empty as everything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you're here because others need you here. That's not what I would have expected from you. You aren't one to do something because others need it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When it’s important I can. A killer like me has to set a parameter otherwise we lose ourselves. I respect Rafael. Somehow, Little Raven and the others have drawn on something I didn’t once possess. But don’t pretend that it can go any further. I’m here for them. I see what counseling can do for them. I see what they can get. It’s why I am here. I make logical decisions based on the criteria that I see and hear.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well. What do you hope they will gain by coming to me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was an interesting question. He supposed it was valid. “Each one of them holds way too damn much, and sometimes they feed each other back and forth. Peter needs it the most. There are things I can’t help him with and things I can’t do. Little Raven is the best at the emotional stuff, but he’s stretched thin enough. Though I have noticed how fond Little Raven is of Peter. I’m glad. Someone needs to care for the boy in a way that I could not.” Edward also knew that there was a hint of attraction there on both sides, Little Raven was oblivious as he often tended to be until something was pointed out to him. Peter on the other hand, well, he was a teenager; and then there was the ardeur. “Alpha needs a good wakeup call. He’s been the most normal of us all before Chimera popped into his life. I think he’s suffering from a form of PTSD. Jean-Claude, well, I suspect no one has ever cared enough in six hundred years. He and I aren’t too far apart. He’s no sociopath like me, but he’s careful. Six hundred years of careful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Micah needs a wake up call? Can you expand on that please?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edward thought about his next words. He could divert the attention, he was good at that. But, it would not help them. So he decided to answer. Trust wasn’t the issue right now. Rafael was right. If they kept going on, their enemies were going to destroy them from the inside. Edward could do nothing if that happened. He couldn’t shoot what he couldn’t see after all. “As I said, Alpha is the most normal. He came from a completely normal life and background, and then a monster like Chimera entered his world. It turned it upside down. Going from a completely mundane normality to that is going to leave a deep wound that he won’t talk about. He’s made strides with his kittens, but I don’t think he has with himself. If we broach the subject he will smile it off. Just like the others, we all started this relationship because Little Raven was at the center. But now we are all tied together as one. I think Alpha sometimes believes he doesn’t belong or that he’s going to be replaced as Chimera did to him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you doing to help him belong?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not counting the fact that I proposed to them? We do often try to tell him and talk about it. Marcus did not help matters. He often made Alpha feel insignificant. I didn’t like that. I almost shot him a few dozen times if only on principle, but Alpha insisted on handling it. He wanted me to step back. So I did. I did what he wanted, despite what I would have preferred. I do that a lot sometimes. Since I know they probably don’t need me making it worse. I do a lot of watching. I try to let him know. Little Raven sure does and then there’s the Toy, but I’m not sure if he’s getting it. But I think now he will. Marcus is gone, and another mistake like that won’t get made.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does Jean-Claude have a similar issue?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edward stared right at her. “Likely, but unlike Little Raven who will ask me everything under the sun. Toy is not about to ask me. Neither will Alpha. He will ponder for a lifetime. I do believe I’ve made myself clear over the years. I often do not say or do what I do not mean. If I’m not sure I mean it. I won’t do it. Especially by them. I figure it’s the least I can do. I’ve hunted all walks of life, and I enjoy it. It does not matter what it wears. If it’s killable. It’s killable. But I do set a limit. I do set a parameter. As I said, a monster like me is only good if they can protect something. I chose to protect them. It works.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And if it didn’t work?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I die. What else? Interesting thing is, they make me want to work harder. It is an odd thing being able to ‘feel’ something for this small few. Unfortunately, this does not extend completely toward Peter like it does Teddy. I am fond. I care because I need to as an investment. But I can’t do much more than that. But I do what I need to make sure he’s whole. He won’t end up like me. Little Raven was right that he wasn’t spoiled yet. He’s always right in the end.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You say you're fond of Peter but don't feel anything for him. Can you explain more?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is nothing to explain. My priority to him is out of honor. I often use the honor system as a guide. If something happened to him tomorrow I would be angry and kill whatever hurt him. I’d be pissed because I failed somehow. The kid is mine. He deserves better than that. But that’s all I can do. It’s not just him. It’s everyone that is not Little Raven, Alpha, Toy, and Teddy. Little Raven has given me the emotional capacity that I never had. But it does not go further than our group. It can’t. Alpha and Toy were very much recent. About two years or so. Little Raven was first, and I was able to see Teddy through Little Raven’s eyes. I have something now. I have something to protect. He’s taught me that. I know that if I could feel, I would for Peter. I do wish I could, Dr. Lillian. He would deserve it. He’s a good kid, but I can’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about the others Harry needs for the ardeur. What do you think of that situation? I understand you don't feel for them, but what do you think of the situation?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They belong to Little Raven, and so what he cares about and loves, I must protect. If only for him. I think the situation is hilarious,” Edward smirked, but it had no emotion. “Little Raven will always tell you that I am unpredictable, and that he doesn’t know what I’m thinking. He is wrong. He knows me the best of them all, but I always had it in my mind that if I took Little Raven, I’d have to share him because it would be unfair of me when he can do something I can’t do. It’s why I was agreeable to the Toy and soon after Alpha. They can do what I can’t. Seeing him happy became a priority. But the parameters of this has changed now. It includes Toy and Alpha. Seeing their happiness is also a priority. I have a lot to do, Dr. Lillian. It’s always good for the sociopath to have something to do. All the others. Most are fine warriors, and they belong to Little Raven. I like to watch. So long as they are good for them. I do not mind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you share Harry, Micah, and Jean-Claude because they need it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. If Little Raven does not feed he will die or go mad. Same with Toy and Alpha, they should never be left out. It is only fair after all. Making them happy is important. Keeping them safe is important. If I don’t, I fail. Also, Little Raven is the exact opposite of me. He knows this thing called love. He understands it better. He loves everything he touches. Somehow, he can do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you agree with all the men chosen? How do you make a decision on who can join your relationship?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I let Little Raven set the pace. All three of us have agreed to let him set the pace,” said Edward. “Not because we think he is more fragile. No, but because the choices he makes are often the right choices. Besides, for Jean-Claude, Micah, and I it is just sex. It is not a relationship with any of us. We have talked about it extensively with each other, and with Little Raven some. But Little Raven cannot do what the three of us can do. He cannot put a real barrier between the two like I can. Alpha is only one bothered when someone does not seek his permission. We’re going to be rectifying that in the future.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aside from the one-offs and emergency food that sometimes happens, if one wishes to join us they must ask Alpha personally. What I do believe Alpha may be having issues with, is that Little Raven is so good at what he does that Alpha oftentimes feels powerless. He is a natural. You can’t change what is natural. You can try, but it often doesn’t work. Alpha has to work at it where Little Raven does not. Alpha needs more control. It’s what we’ve learned after Marcus. He needs to have a good amount of control. Little Raven on the other hand wishes to hand it off, but he can’t because he’s too natural at it. Do you understand what I am saying?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're trying to create a balance of power. How does Jean-Claude factor into these plans?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t quite understand it, but I know what I see and hear. Jean-Claude has never had honesty or trust or someone to tell him that being what he is is fine. If I can be who I am, then he deserves to be. All are under the assumption that because of the ardeur that he must do everyone and everything on a whim. But he chooses not to. He chooses not to because he wants to. He’s never had that choice. Little Raven, Alpha, and Toy have had a lot of no choices in their lives. We are balancing that, and I do my best to protect them so that they can make those choices. It’s my job. Toy was never too sure of me. I’m aware of that. I need to work on it. I’m still figuring things out on my own. I’ll fix it. I always do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you happy to have that job? Happy is the wrong word…."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Satisfied, Dr. Lillian. I am satisfied, and for most that would be unacceptable, satisfied. It’s a neutral word to everyone. But, satisfaction is the closest I’ve ever gotten to true happiness, they are the closest I’ve ever gotten. I might even be obliged to say yes, I am happy. But I am not sure if that would be the most apt. I look at it this way,” said Edward, getting tired of speaking, but he did have a point to make. “I could strangle everyone in St. Louis, including the kittens, puppies, and all and I’d walk away with a shrug. But if I did that to Little Raven, Alpha, Toy, or Teddy - I wouldn’t be walking anywhere. It’s the only distinction I have.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about Peter?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could. But, do you know what is stopping me from doing any of this? Not counting the others and what they make me feel or don’t feel. Do you know why I chose to protect the kittens and puppies? Pride. Honor. I may be unable to feel, but I was raised partly the way most American men are raised. To have honor and pride. To follow a system. My pride would not allow it. Failure is not an option.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pride is the downfall of many men. What stops it from being yours?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edward smiled emptily. “Because if I don’t have pride, I’m even worse, Dr. Lillian. I’d be empty, completely. So completely empty. Just as all my victims are as the light dims from their eyes. You know my up close kills are to watch that light go out? A light that I could never have, not naturally anyway. I watch it, spark by spark dim from them. I don’t do that anymore. Not much, anyway. I’ve gotten better. Besides, I have a promise that’s been kept. Little Raven knows if I ever get to a certain point he will kill me, and I will kill him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think what you feel for those four will ever extend to others?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Edward considered this. “It’d be a nice neat happy ending wouldn’t it?” he hummed as he tapped his fingers on the rough old leather. “Unlike the others, I am not a glass half full kind of man. I see where the road leads. I could feel it when Little Raven almost died. Feel the splintering of the bonds, the nothingness that began to brew back in place.” He shook his head. “It’s a good thing I have knowledge. Imagine if I did not? What would this world turn into otherwise? All these tools at my disposal.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Olaf would be the least of the world’s worries</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought to himself. “But none of that matters. What matters is today because tomorrow we may all be gone. I live for today, Dr. Lillian. Not tomorrow because today I can feel for Harry Potter-Black, Micah Callahan, Jean-Claude, and Teddy Lupin-Potter. A sociopath like me couldn’t ever be so lucky.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I look forward to the day that the circle you feel for expands. I'm sure it will be your strength. You seem to have gained strength from the binds to these four of your choice, afterall."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wishful thinking gets no one anywhere, but then that’s the sociopath in me that says that. The man in me says to keep wishing because it might be all we have.” He made it to the door and looked over at the stern neutral woman. He might actually like her. “Perhaps, Dr. Perhaps.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See you for the next session, Edward."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she could have the last word this time. It didn’t matter anyway. He walked out and shut the door, and that was that.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Roderium was sat in a vast four acre meadow. It was ringed by a lake, and somewhat it’s own island except for the tiny shore line that crossed over. It was well hidden, and even better so now. The main part of the Roderium was like an ancient ruins, with it’s mottled old stone and climbing ivy checkered around the broken columns and sections. It had been once a building, and it was fifty or so years ago the rights got transferred to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Small pebble like lanterns hung from the trees, shining down like dew drops. They were only shut off on nights of the full moon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the middle of evening, frigid temperatures for most, but lycanthropes were a hardy bunch. Most of them anyway. Any Alpha could boast a good amount of resistance to the cold. Most would never freeze to death even if half of the world did. A lot of submissives were equal in resistance, but not quite. For newbie lycanthropes, it took time for their systems to start running properly to allow them to have the resistance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A fleet of old crude wooden chairs and a makeshift long board like table sat at the head of the Roderium’s ruins. It’s where Rafael sat in the middle as Rom, Louie on one side, Lillian on the other. Oftentimes it was Bobby Lee or Claudia on each end as the main enforcers. Sometimes, if Claudia or Bobby was unavailable Lisandro would have that honor, and even Benito. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Rodere’s time of month for dominance games. Usually it was those lower in the hierarchy that participated. Because there were so many that joined the Rodere one by one, there had to be a separate day planned in the month to house the challenges. For Rafael, he had decided that challenges would be on a first come first serve basis. Everyone only had so many hours of the day to be watching sanctioned battles. Every battle had to go through an approval process. First, they had to be approved by Bobby Lee, Lisandro, and Claudia. Once approved by the top Enforcers, it would pass to Louie who make comment before giving it to Lillian as the senior advisor. She would also check the health of the fighters. No need for dishonorable wins and losses due to sickness and injuries that had gone untreated. Finally, if Lillian approved it would get sent to Rafael for final approval. Those that were approved were informed one week before the dominance games commenced. If someone got sick in the week leading up to the fight, then the request was pushed off until the next month.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the footsoldiers and lower members were required to come and observe unless they had a valid excuse or a reason. Rafael did not suffer fools or fringe members like Marcus had. If they were in, they were in. If they were out, then they had to get out of their territory and into a new one. It was a requirement so that none could claim foul. If they saw with their own eyes then there could be no denying positions and rights; nor any question of who won or lost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only it were that easy. Even lycanthropes could be selective in sight and sound when they wanted to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, the dominance battles were not what was on Dr. Lillian’s mind right now. She shot a look at the staring Rom, the man was expecting her to speak first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what confidentiality means, Rom.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware, but insight?” It was at that point that Bobby Lee leaned around. “You’ve had five sessions with them each, haven’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is the Little Hellcat?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hellcat, that was not a word that Lillian would use for Harry. “I think you’ve got nicknames mixed up. You do know that sociopathy cannot be counseled, right?” Rafael said not a word and still stared at her, waiting. She sighed and crossed her arms. “You only care about Harry, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not true,” said Rafael. “But, he was in the forefront of my mind when I came to you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should counsel you. It really bothered you didn’t it? What happened and everything?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” said Rafael, not shifting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her Rom was sometimes unmoveable. “Just keep in mind, maybe next time I won’t heal your wounds so easily.” She said jokingly. “The problem with counseling a sociopath,” she began, “is the fact that they are already aware of their own short-comings. They know their own problems too well. But, I am not inclined to call him a complete socio.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re stalling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve met many Edwards. They get checked in to the ER for something and as soon as it’s been fixed they leave. I have to say Micah might be the most well together, the most ‘normal’. He has all the human nuances and concerns that most share. Jean-Claude is six hundred years old, not much can be chipped away to see underneath. Not that anyone would expect otherwise. Teddy is the most well-rounded child I’ve ever met,” she said with a smile. “Harry… Harry is selfless. I don’t think he will come back to any of  my sessions.” She’d done her best to remain neutral and nonjudgmental. She kept it that way, and she still stood by that because they might need her in the future. “But, they need work. All of them. Sometimes, it takes more than those they love to become comfortable talking. I guess I’ll keep my door open, but if Jean-Claude changes my furniture one day I’m coming for you, Rom.” She huffed at this, and Rafael rumbled with low chuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I think the Little Hellcat will be fine. We all know this about him. It’s why we watch and protect him,” said Bobby Lee as he adjusted his cap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It bothers me that it doesn’t bother him that he almost died. It’s like he thinks he’s doing the world a favor,” said Lillian with a shake of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you truly surprised?” asked Rafael. “He’s a Necromancer, and I think that title is more than magic and words. I also know from what he’s told me of his past that Harry has a deep and powerful understanding of the way the world works and the people that inhabit it. All people. All species. I think it’s what makes him such a natural at what he does, bringing people together, and then those instincts. Oftentimes he doesn’t think more than he does.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what about independence?” asked Lillian, observing the two females going at one another. Leilianna was a semi-new wererat. She was tall and slim, and had a chip on her shoulder a mile wide, but she was good at hand-to-hand combat. She looked up to Claudia, and she’d been in just about every dominance battle. She’d won all of them, and if she won this one she’d be at the number ten rank in the Rodere. But, Dr. Lillian wasn’t entirely sure if she was cut-out for guard duty. All those who were rank ten and above took turns in the guard rotation. She was a survivalist. A survivalist for herself and she was a dreamer. She worked well in pairs, but give her a group and she’ll make enemies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean independence?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Freedom. Harry takes on so much, he doesn’t seem to have much independence, and then there are his men who often make choices for him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that your professional opinion or just an observation?” Rafael asked, only for Lillian to mime zipping her lips closed. “Heh, he has his freedom,” said Rafael. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Lillian frowned and looked at Rafael. “He doesn’t. He really doesn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s his form of freedom. His form of independence. Freedom for him is never being alone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you didn’t counsel Harry because-?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’d have to counsel them all, and I wouldn’t be able to be impartial. I’d always defend or back Harry,” said Rafael shamelessly. “I would not be able to do what you can do. It’s why I suggested you. You are the most trusted. You are far enough away from the action. You’re attached, but you’re still neutral.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do admit it was difficult being neutral with Teddy. But, out of everything I’ve learned. Good and the bad, Teddy was the best to counsel. Harry has done right by him, no matter what. Harry is so aware of others. So, understanding that I fear that he’s not being true to himself, everyone else comes first. Edward has done well with Peter, no matter his chosen lifestyle. God knows what would happen if Edward didn’t have the background that he does.” Or the Pride and Honor system that he used. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But if Harry ever truly died, Lillian knew that the world would burn; and everyone including Edward would go with it. She wasn’t being overdramatic or hypersensitive. Edward would destroy the world should he lose the one thing that he never was able to fathom having. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a question for you, Rom. Why Harry?” Dr. Lillian asked, neutrally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael took his eyes away from the fight, and looked right at her. “What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is it Harry that’s on your mind?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael turned his gaze away and stared up at the sky. “I’ve never met a heart like his before, and he’s passed it on to Teddy. He is truly good. How many people can you say that about in this world? He’s the one person that isn’t out for themselves. It is no wonder that power and love choose him over and over again. No matter how much he tries to resist. He’s simply good, and those around him in his sphere? He’s somehow able to help make them good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you're right. But what about him? Is it good for him? Is it even healthy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are any of us truly healthy and sound in mind? I’m hoping that this experience, and with you speaking to them, that we don’t get a repeat.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t guarantee that,” said Lillian, because she knew if Harry thought he was out of options, he would so sacrifice himself for others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we can.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jean-Claude, Edward, Micah, and I.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting you say that,” said Lillian. “I’m going to recommend speaking to Peter a bit longer. I doubt I can do much for Harry. But I will keep the door and line open.” Micah had put himself forward for a few more appointments with her. He seemed to get the most out of it. Him and Peter both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea. I want Harry to be happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” asked Lillian. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he is happy then I am happy,” said Rafael turning to stare out over the land. “And yes, take that as you wish. Harry means the world to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stared at him without any expression. “You’re in love with him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. But I am not yours to counsel.”   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It shouldn’t have surprised Lillian to learn this truth. Just about everyone who crosses paths with Harry ends up falling for him at some point. Whether it was good or bad had yet to be seen. She wasn’t so sure how good of an idea it was. She’d never seen a bond quite like Harry and his men. Or Harry and the others, and then there was the bond with her Rom and Harry. It was love, but what kind was it? It was like an open flame that simmered the boiling pot rather than overflowing it. What did this mean for the future? She’d never met men quite like them, even Edward was unique. A socio with an open door to emotion? It could either be a time-bomb or the best damn thing. So far, it was the latter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She supposed that only time would tell.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Fin-</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Title: A Promise In Red</p><p>Rating: Explicit</p><p>Pairing: Jason/Harry, Micah/Edward, ??/??/OC/Jason/Harry, Jason/OC</p><p>Summary: Harry’s still licking his wounds from Marcus’ departure. It’s effected a lot more of him than he expected. He learns that denial is a river that could be very deep. Caught in the crossfire of a public media blitz, Harry travels with Jason to his hometown of Promise where Jason is mistaken for the son of the Governor. It’s his first trip without his men, and with Teddy in tow things should go well, right? Wrong. So very wrong. </p><p>Warnings: M/M/M/M, Explicit Sex, Violence, Language, Drama, Harem, Orgy, and all kinds of crazy sexual shenanigans.  </p><p>Book: Blood Noir</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Since this is so short we decided that we'll speed up the process and treat you all to 1 Chapter/Day for the next four days. Takes place very shortly after the last story.</p><p>Theme: Lillian is so not paid enough for this...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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